Image by Davide Restivo via Flickr
If we listen to the constant babble that goes on inside our head we may notice that there are two voices babbling, sometimes back and forth. One noisy voice is the “I” voice - “I want ... I will... I don’t want ...” It’s the voice of desire, constantly wanting more and more things, or less and less effort. The other voice is the “You” voice - “You really should get up out of bed. You are always late. You shouldn’t eat that.” This voice wants us to be the best we can be. It is our inner coach. Both voices prattle away constantly talking to us.
We’ve learned a lot about the quiet voice – but these two loud voices (really thoughts) are not it. The noisy voices are often involved in superficial or shallow thoughts, whereas the quiet voice is more like a deeper type of thinking.
Now we’ve identified our noisy inner coach voice (the “You” voice), it’s time to teach it how to motivate us using positive talk. Imagine we are training to become an Olympic athlete, and we have a choice of coaches; one coach is loud and mean, telling us how hopeless we are, how we never do anything right etc. The other coach is enthusiastic and positive, encouraging us always to do our best, and pointing out whenever we improve etc – which coach would we choose to train us? If we are sane, we would choose the enthusiastic coach because that coach will bring out the best in us long term. So now we need to train our inner coach to speak to us in a way that we would like to be spoken to. We need to encourage ourselves to greater heights with positive words not with put downs. We can choose to speak to ourselves with a kind, loving and encouraging style and we can start today.
When we start talking to ourselves in a positive way, for example, “That’s the way, you can do it, keep going,” we will notice that we start to feel good about ourselves. Constantly telling ourselves that we are good and valuable will make us feel good and valuable. When we begin to speak positively to ourselves, we will notice that it will flow over to our conversations with others. We will automatically start encouraging others and motivating them with positive optimistic language. However, if we are speaking harshly to ourselves, we will come to speak harshly to others – even when we wished we wouldn’t.
A clear sign of somebody with a nasty negative inner coach is nasty negative words being uttered from their mouth. (This insight is good to keep in mind, as it helps us feel sorry for really negative people, because they must be living in an internal hell inside the walls of their mind.) So let’s start today speaking in a way that makes us feel great about ourselves.